Patrol music . . .

A shop in South Wales, reports icwales, is using a new alarm system called Mosquito, “which is only clearly audible to under 20s”. It emits a noise that annoys the kids so much that they stop hanging around the shop. Fantastic news! Unless of course you’re an innocent youngster who’s been sent round the shop for milk by your parents, because then it'll just piss you off.

It’s only a matter of time before the technology is usurped by a bored, computer-adept, Spar employee. Then the kids will have a way to communicate at frequencies that the elderly can’t hear. Then they can cause some real trouble...

Reminds me of a story on the bbc back in January. Tyne and Wear Public Transport installed speakers in their bus stops and train stations to belt out classical music. However, not just for the overall enjoyment of their passengers –but to stop young hoodie wearing hoodlums from hanging about and intimidating people. And guess what? It worked.

Studies proved that trying to show off you latest Jamster ring-tone to your mates, and generally acting like an arse just isn’t cool when accompanied by Mozart or Beethoven. So the kids left, deciding to intimidate people in the park instead.